Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
