I could make wine with my vomit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize