I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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