you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
