youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
