Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
