their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
