OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
