I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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