the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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