big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
