Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
