i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
