Already got asked if we're dating
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i came on her dog
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize