Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
