Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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