Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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