Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
