He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
