She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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