i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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