i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
