i think i have two assholes
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
