Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
