Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize