We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
