But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
