She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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