Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
