He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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