If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
