Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
