Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
