stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
