I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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