Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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