I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
