look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
