I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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