dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
