she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
