Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.

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  (240): EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff. http://tfl.nu/5eqp
  Replies (21) Good night (3146) Bad night (878)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step

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  (781): I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step http://tfl.nu/hwjf
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He uses pillows to masturbate.

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  (708): He uses pillows to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/f9f4
  Replies (39) Good night (650) Bad night (3083) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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  (440): By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas http://tfl.nu/5ruz
  Replies (46) Good night (4758) Bad night (1264) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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  (306): No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes. http://tfl.nu/ocj3
  Replies (23) Good night (5484) Bad night (3134) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since

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  (907): He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since http://tfl.nu/78cc
  Replies (2) Good night (2355) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1015) Bad night (11707) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

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  (920): Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job? http://tfl.nu/emh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2614) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis

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  (540): Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis http://tfl.nu/8a3h
  Replies (13) Good night (3193) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?

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  (361): Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive? http://tfl.nu/y06z
  Replies (5) Good night (1642) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on

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  (734): Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on http://tfl.nu/hv9f
  Replies (7) Good night (1371) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.

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  (303): I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/1ezb
  Replies (4) Good night (683) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong

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  (713): I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong http://tfl.nu/72i1
  Replies (1) Good night (240) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?

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  (803): Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick? http://tfl.nu/r3gk
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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  (570): Also I found and fixed my beer gun. http://tfl.nu/qi6j
  Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (133) Order T-Shirt

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