Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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