its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
