Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
