my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
