During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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