how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
