too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
