For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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