shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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