What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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