Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
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She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
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We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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