she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
