woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
