Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
