This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
