fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
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the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line