Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize