if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
