so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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