he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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